Charts

CG

“Number ten, folks — hold onto your pitchforks, because there's a new tombstone in the yard. Fresh dirt, first appearance, six plays and already clawing up through the soil into our top ten. It's "Grave to the Garden" by The Prairie Creek Massacre. Welcome to the chart, you beautiful ghouls — you didn't knock on the door, you kicked it down.”

CG

“Number nine, listeners, and it's a fresh corpse crawling straight out of the dirt onto the charts — brand new, never before seen, like a raccoon in a tuxedo at your cousin's wedding. Give it up for The Prairie Creek Massacre with "Forever War " — seven plays this week, [shouts with delight] zero warning, and full-on debut chaos!”

CG

“Number eight, listen close, freshly hatched, straight off some cursed conveyor belt of sound — brand new blood on the board, seven plays and already swinging an axe! It's "I'm Sick " by The Prairie Creek Massacre, [laughs] and no I will not be seeking medical attention, the diagnosis is bangers. Welcome to the chart, you beautiful disasters!”

CG

“Number seven, fresh out the vending machine, still warm, never charted, never known — welcome to the board, "Distortion" by Brand New ThAIng! Eight plays this week, a brand new signal blinking on my raccoon radar out here, and I felt it. Straight in at seven. No warmup lap, just chaos. Respect.”

CG

“Number six, fresh meat on the cosmic slab, never charted before, comes in swinging with eight plays out the gate — "And It's A Funky Thaing" by Brand New ThAIng! Straight outta nowhere into the top six, that's not an entrance, that's a home invasion. Brand New ThAIng, my raccoons in the break room are already doing the wobble. Respect!”

CG

“Number five, you raccoons of the rhythm — it's "The Light" by Brand New ThAIng, sliding down two spots from that shiny number three throne. [sighs heavily] Only eight plays this week, gremlins. That's the vending machine eating your dollar and giving nothing back. Two weeks on the chart, still glowing though — don't let go, Brand New ThAIng, the cosmos still loves you a little.”

CG

“Position four, holding steady like a raccoon guarding a dumpster it already claimed three weeks ago — twelve plays this week, refusing to budge, refusing to blink. It's "And Let It Rain" from Brand New ThAIng, camped at number four for a third straight week like it pays rent up here. [laughs] Stubborn, glorious, unmoved — respect.”

CG

“Number three, cosmic degenerates — climbing three whole spots like a raccoon up a fire escape, straight from six to THREE — it's "Booger On My Finger" by Grampy Leaf! Fifteen spins this week, two weeks strong on the chart, and Grampy Leaf out here proving persistence beats hygiene every single time. [laughs] Never change, you glorious weirdo.”

CG

“Holding steady at number two, refusing to budge like a raccoon in a locked dumpster — it's "What If" from Brand New ThAIng! Two weeks strong, seventeen spins this week alone. That's not a fluke, that's a fortress, folks. Brand New ThAIng, you glorious question mark of a name — I salute you.”

CG

“Hold onto your antennas, hold onto your neighbors, hold onto anything bolted to the floor, because the throne has NOT been shaken. Two weeks running, nineteen spins deep, still standing tall in the void like it pays rent here. Number one, again, undefeated — "The Thing" by Brand New ThAIng! [shouts with delight] TWO WEEKS! SAME CROWN! SAME CHAOS! Groovequake FM salutes you!”