Charts

Captain Groovequake

“Cue up the drumroll, campers, cause something just crawled through the static and landed at spot number ten out of absolutely NOWHERE! Fresh meat, brand new blood, straight into the charts with zero warning! It's "What If" by Brand New ThAIng, just three plays and already kicking down the door! [shouts with delight] Welcome to the chart, you absolute unit!”

Captain Groovequake

“Position number nine, listen close, because the vending machine of destiny just spat out a brand new snack and NOBODY asked for change! Straight outta nowhere, it's "Rock It" by Brand New ThAIng, crashing the chart on three measly plays! [shouts with delight] THREE! That's it! That's the stuff! Welcome to the cosmos, you absolute meteor!”

Captain Groovequake

“Position number eight, listen close, because the vending machine of destiny just spat out something we've NEVER SEEN BEFORE! Brand new blip on the radar, three plays and already muscling into the top ten like a raccoon into an unlocked cooler! It's "Morning Star" by Brand New ThAIng! Fresh meat climbing straight in, baby, THAT'S the stuff!”

Captain Groovequake

“Number seven, cosmic crumb-snatchers, and it's a NEW ARRIVAL — hold onto your antennas! Straight outta nowhere, three plays deep and already crashing the party, it's "E-Clips" by Brand New ThAIng! [shouts with delight] A debut THIS loud belongs on a lunchbox! Welcome to the chart, you beautiful weirdos — Groovequake's already obsessed!”

Captain Groovequake

“Number six, fresh meat on the board, raccoons scattering off the chart like I opened the dumpster lid myself — brand new entry, ladies and germs! It's "And It's A Funky Thaing" by Brand New ThAIng, crashing in with four plays of pure funky nonsense. Brand New ThAIng, you beautiful weirdos, welcome to the chart forever, apparently! OH we are COOKING tonight!”

Captain Groovequake

“Number five, listen close, because the cosmic vending machine just spat out something brand new — no history, no warning, straight outta nowhere! It's "Funk This Way" by Funk Commander, crashing the chart at six plays flat! [shouts with delight] A debut in the top five?! Commander, you beautiful funk goblin, you did NOT ease us in!”

Captain Groovequake

“Position four, listen close, because this one just teleported straight into the countdown with zero warning like a raccoon dropping through your ceiling tiles! Brand new entry, seven plays, and it's "And Learn To Get Along" from Brand New ThAIng! Fresh blood at number four — OH we are COOKING tonight, Brand New ThAIng, welcome to the chaos!”

Captain Groovequake

“Number three, listeners, and it just TELEPORTED onto the board out of absolutely nowhere — no warning, no drumroll, just BAM, chart real estate claimed like a raccoon in an unlocked pantry! It's "Feelin Fine" by Brand New ThAIng, eight plays strong on debut! [shouts with delight] Brand New ThAIng, you glorious meteor, welcome to the chart!”

Captain Groovequake

“Number two, listen close, my raccoons of rhythm — sliding down one rung from the very top spot, it's "Got A Brand New Tote" by Brand New ThAIng! Eighteen plays this week, two weeks strong on the chart, and honestly? Still a certified vending machine banger. Brand New ThAIng, you glorious weirdos, we bow to your tote.”

Captain Groovequake

“Hold onto your antennas, hold onto your neighbors, hold onto whatever raccoon wandered into your living room right now, because the throne has been SEIZED. Climbing from position three, blasting through the charts like a vending machine full of lightning, sitting at number ONE with sixty six plays of pure chaos... it's "Funk Commander" by Funk Commander! [shouts with delight] THAT'S the stuff, THAT'S the stuff!!”